My Husband Insisted on Homeschooling Our Daughter — I Gasped When I Found Out Why

This all started a few months ago at a dinner party. My husband, Ben, and I were sitting with a few friends when, out of the blue, he brought up the idea of homeschooling our daughter, Lily.

“It’s the system, you know? It’s too rigid, too focused on tests,” Ben said, leaning forward in his seat like he had discovered the secret to the universe.

“Kids need to be free to explore their creativity. I don’t want Lily’s imagination boxed in. She needs to feel things between her fingers and experience life,” he continued.

Ben reached forward to help himself to the bowl of mashed potatoes.

Everyone at the table nodded, murmuring in agreement.

“Honestly, that’s so true,” our friend Sarah chimed in as she sipped her wine. “Schools just kill creativity. I wish I had done something different with my kids. Last year, Jasmine wanted to show off her creativity through her uniform, but they didn’t accept it at school. She got a suspension warning.”

I remember glancing at Ben, completely surprised at how passionately he was speaking. He had never once mentioned anything about homeschooling before. In fact, he had been talking about us getting our six-year-old into private school.

But here he was, talking about homeschooling like he’d been thinking about it for years.

“We could teach her ourselves, Mia,” Ben continued, glancing over at me with a smile. “Think about it, love. No strict schedules, no standardized tests. She could learn at her own pace.”

I nodded, trying to process everything.

“Yeah, I mean, it does sound good,” I agreed. “But we need to explore all options about it first.”

I was hesitant. But I was also unsure of why I felt a slight unease creep up on me. Although when Ben spoke so passionately, it was hard not to get swept up in the dream of it all.

After that night, Ben kept bringing it up. At home, over dinner, in passing conversations, he’d make little comments all the time.

“Lily would be so much happier if she wasn’t stuck in a classroom all day.”

“We could help her learn things that matter, Mia, not just what’s on some test.”

Eventually, I started to believe that he might be right.

Before I knew it, we had decided to pull Lily out of her school and start with the new routine of homeschooling. Ben took charge of everything.

“Like the gifts we talked about? You’ll deliver them, right?”

He had always been more involved with her school meetings, so I trusted him completely. And look, at first, everything seemed to be working. Ben would sit with Lily during “school hours,” and he’d proudly show me the projects they’d worked on when I got home from work.

“I’m glad she’s happy,” I told Ben one evening when I was loading the dishwasher.

“She’s more than happy, Mia,” he said with a smile. “She’s thriving. Look at this! She made a solar system model all on her own.”

But then one day, I came home early from work, eager to show Lily the new set of watercolor paint I had gotten for her. I walked in quietly, not wanting to disturb whatever lesson she and Ben were doing.

And that’s when I heard Lily crying.

“But Dad, I miss my friends!” Lily sobbed. “They probably think I don’t like them anymore. I’m sure they think we’re fighting! They’ll be so mad at me for not going to school…”

I crept closer to the dining room, which had become the classroom. And I heard Ben’s voice, low and soothing.

“Lily-girl,” he said. “I told you, we can send them little gifts, okay? They won’t be mad at you.”

Lily sniffled, but her tone lifted a little.

“Like the gifts we talked about? You’ll deliver them, right?” she said.

Deliver gifts? What on earth was my child talking about?

“Yes, darling,” he said.

“Like when you let me come with you when Mommy had to work? You’re going to deliver my friends’ gifts just like when you bring packages to people, right?”

I froze. I tried to piece the information together before storming in and demanding answers.

Ben wasn’t homeschooling Lily out of some grand educational philosophy that he had been talking about endlessly.

Instead, my husband was delivering packages. All those days that I thought they were doing lessons… what had really been happening under my roof?

“Get your answers, Mia,” I muttered as I walked into the dining room.

Ben’s face turned white when he saw me.

“Care to explain what on earth Lily is talking about?” I asked.

My chest felt tight, like I was just holding it all together before some horrible news came out.

Ben let out a long breath, running his hands through his hair.

“Honey, why don’t you go play on the swing or watch some TV?” Ben told her.

We waited until Lily was happily running outside to the swing before Ben said another word.

“I… I lost my job, okay? Months ago. I didn’t know how to tell you, Mia.”

I blinked, trying to process his words.

“I didn’t want you to think I was a failure.”

“You lost your job? Then what on earth have you been doing all day?”

“The homeschooling. It wasn’t about Lily’s education. It was because we couldn’t afford the tuition anymore. And I know that a few months ago I wanted her to go to private school, but I couldn’t even afford her public school fees.”

Ben paused, holding his head.

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to retaliate.

“I’ve been delivering packages. It’s not stable, but it’s for a few hours a day. I take Lily with me in between her homeschooling. I know you think that I’ve been working in the study and then teaching Lily, too…”

“You’ve been delivering packages? Really? This whole time?” I asked, stunned. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to think that I was a failure,” Ben said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t know how to fix this situation. But you know how stressful my job was toward the end. Those hours killed me. I thought that maybe if I could just keep things together for a little while longer…”

I shook my head, trying to wrap my mind around everything. I wanted to be angry.

I wanted to shout at my husband, not because he lost his job, but because he didn’t want to tell me about it. I understood the pressure of losing your job suddenly and then having to put yourself back together.

When I was pregnant with Lily, I lost my job because they couldn’t afford to keep paying me while I was on maternity leave.

But Ben carried us right up until Lily was three years old.

I shook my head now, trying to shake some of my thoughts. I felt… sad. Sad that Ben had felt like he had to hide this from me.

“Ben, you didn’t have to do this alone,” I said, reaching toward him.

He smiled at me sadly.

We put Lily back into school the next week using our savings. She was overjoyed to see her friends, and the guilt Ben had been carrying around began to lift when he saw her running toward them at the school gate.

As for Ben, he found another job as a grocery store manager. It wasn’t his dream job, but it was honest work that came with medical benefits. And honestly, I think it was just the fact that he was earning properly again that made the biggest difference to him.

There was a lightness back in our home that hadn’t been there in a long time. A sense that we were moving forward, together.